The following is Reed's screen debut: an intense performance filled with raw emotion!

When this aired, Holly and I were fairly surprised to learn that we're "strapped for cash," and that we "didn't know how [we] were going to pay for [our] son's shots." We squirrel away money like a... well, squirrel (and its acorns), so naturally we first assumed that all our reserves had been stolen! Moreover, since Ms. Graham had discovered this before us, she was the PRIME SUSPECT! But cool heads prevailed. After remembering we'd never used those phrases (or any other which Ms. Graham could have rightly understood to mean "we're barely scraping by"), it occurred to us that perhaps our interview had been SENSATIONALIZED by the MEDIA! The right-wing nut job in me was delighted to have my choice of conspiracy theories.

For the record, free is better than not free. And since we'd already paid for the immunization through some crazy Socialist, tax-funded, government hand-out program, we figured, "hey, why not?" Then upon returning home, we all took a nice, long nap on our downy nest of wadded-up hundred dollar bills.

(2.10.09)
After a five year hiatus from updating this site, here's some new content (in more than one way):

(8.16.04)... (later still)
It occurred to me that saying Dr. Whipple is only a biologist (in my 12.2.02 entry - things occur to me quickly, no?) suggests he has some sort of lesser, easier to obtain degree along the lines of becoming an ordained minister for only $30. He IS a PhD, after all, and moreover a Harvard-graduated one. So I guess he's pretty smart.
Besides, the reason I transferred this website to the new domain is because I'll soon lose the complimentary evansville.net site due to no longer working for the company that provides it in order to once again become a full-time student in pursuit of a biology degree. I'm such an insensitive jerk. And moreover a long-winded one.

(8.16.04)... (later)
What you are enjoying now is the first post loaded from my new domain. The evansville.net site has gone away, and hosting my personal site from the family business site has given me a heightened proprietary sense of it all. What a rush. Maybe some day I'll even get around to buying a house. Anyway, I've gone through the site and done a little virtual housekeeping. It's mostly stuff no one but me will ever notice, but can you afford not to check?

(8.16.04)
In what will probably be my last update to this page (as if there were daily updates) before the whole thing is transferred to a new domain, here's... an update.
I just finished my first video game mod ever because I'm a big geek. Since many of the emails in Doom 3 detract severely from the otherwise immersive environment, and since all I needed to know in order to rewrite all of them involves using notepad and WinRAR, I've created a mod that fixes what I think is the most critically offending email. Get the mod here.

(9.9.03)
This update is motivated by my late realization that I'd left out a paragraph tag, making me look like a darn fool. To fix this darn foolishness, I have now properly inserted said tag. This leaves me wondering if maybe that fails to justify typing all this text to explain the insertion of 3 characters. The conclusion is: yes, it does fail to justify it. By way of justification, I'll just throw in that the girl in the "Black and White" section was born today a few years back.

(5.16.03)
Following the trend of painfully low output, I just put a new Photoshop/Flash project up on my "Flash" page. This raises the question: "whose pain?"

(4.18.03)
Another Holly quote (made at the Janbo Chinese restaurant while eavesdropping on a group of people talking loudly): "We've had that conversation before. It just sounds dumber when other people say it."

(3.27.03)
I was just admiring my handiwork on this site, and thought I'd see how I'm doing on the old How-Well-Does-Google-Recognize-Me test. I'm up to entry #7 when you do a search for "cures ringworm." Soon I will cure the fungus of the world! And junk.

(12.2.02)
As a follow-up to the item from 10.21.02, for the first time I can remember in conversation, I heard "begs the question" used CORRECTLY! Sadly, it was by Dr. Andrew Whipple. Should it really take someone with a doctorate to get this right? I mean, he's not a medical doctor, or a doctor of philosophy or language. He's a biologist.
His son, Kyle, challenged me with this: "Who are you spending your time with?"

(10.30.02)
I love my wife for making comments like this: "Black people don't give courtesy laughs."

(10.21.02)
I'd like to settle this matter now so that we don't have to keep dredging it up: the phrase "begs the question" does NOT mean "issue/question 'A' leads to further issue/question 'B'." Does not does not does not. For some reason I've heard that phrase misused about 3 times in the last week, and I can't remember once ever when I've heard it used correctly. For reference, "to beg the question" means that you have tried to prove something by restating the premise. Example: "It's misunderstood because so many people fail to understand it." Get it?
Now that we have that settled, let's discuss "I could care less". . .

(9.17.02)
Wanna know why my website is so popular? Guess. Huh! You got it right! It IS because I mention "cures ringworm" further down this page! Last I checked, I'm entry number 21 on Google when someone does that search. Just so that my unwitting visitors don't leave empty-handed, I expertly crafted a page that will assist with recognizing, coping, dealing, and preventing this horrible blight on humanity. It's HERE.

(6.25.02)
This is so inconsequential it's perfect. I was just listening to the Sneaker Pimps song "M'Aidez" and thinking about how that word sounds not just a little like "May day." Having no clue yet at this point, I went to babelfish.altavista.com for an easy translation and typed in the title in question. Maybe I should have guessed this. "M'Aidez" is French for "help me." I'm excited because I figured this out all by my baby self. Later today I'll tell this to someone who will invariably tell me that everyone knows that and how did you miss it?

(5.20.02)
Two items of business:
1. Just got back from a week-long trip to Boston. For any US citizen, a visit to this historic city should be like a flint that creates that spark of patriotism so often absent from the frosted, cynical, American heart. That is, it would if the city hadn't already broken that poor American's spirit with a road system that was obviously designed by a man with Parkinson's and a Spirograph.
2. Just got back from what has become popularly abbreviated as SWep2. For those of you who aren't awful geeks, that's Star Wars episode 2 (two). I might have enjoyed the movie more, but either my eyes were covered in a thin layer of sticky mucous, or the film was out of focus the entire time. Actually, I was surprised that the crack team at LucasArts decided to take advantage of the miracle of computer generated (CG) artwork in EVERY SINGLE MOTHER-LOVING SHOT. Are they still "special" effects if the entire movie is an effect? And isn't "special" a word we most often use synonymously with "challenged" to delicately describe someone/something that is handicapped?

(3.25.02)
I usually try to stray away from current events, but SHAME ON YOU, HALLE BERRY! Your wailing cacophany of an acceptance speech roused me from the already tense, pre-sleep haze that I was starting to enjoy. I'll say this: it's a good thing you found my site, Halle, 'cause now you know what a terrible thing you've done.
Maybe I'll continue this on my "rants" page.

(3.15.02)
I replaced the old nav bar with a fancy new Flash version that loads quicker, looks sharper, is easier to read, and cures ringworm when applied topically.

(2.8.02)
The new tutorial is up, online, and lonely. Go pay it some attention by going the TUTORIALS section, and clicking on the link to the "How to Color Line Art" tutorial. It's a real dinger.

(2.7.02)
Well, at long last, I've updated the whole site (an anagram of which is "stie" - not a real word, but an interesting coincidence, no?). Mmm, yeah. This design is more fresh than a can of DelMonte green beans. That's pretty fresh. Actually, I wanted to post a new tutorial, and I didn't want to put it in the old site template.

If the good Lord gives me the strength, I'll have the (nigh) difinitive tutorial on how to color line art posted within a few hours/days/weeks.

This site has been visited so many times, the Supreme Court is threatening to break me up for Anti-Trust violations.

Optimized for screens with 800 little dots going across the top and a lot of colors
(but mostly black and white).

The number scarcely reflects this page's hits.

Last modified: whatever is says at the top, man.